TUPAC Shakur planned his own suicide in “macabre” detail – two years before he was killed in a drive-by shooting – and was only saved by his mother Afeni who “pulled him back from the edge”, according to the author of the rapper’s new biography.
The new book details how, while recovering from gunshot wounds and awaiting trial on sexual assault charges, Tupac was found sat on a couch holding two firearms and the words “F*** the world” written on his forehead in black marker pen, ready to take his own life.
A new book called Tupac Shakur The Authorized Biography contains shocking new details about the rapper’s lifeCredit: Tupac Shakur/Century
The book is the first to have been authorized by his estateCredit: Tupac Shakur/Century
It contains Tupac’s handwritten poetry and lyrics including this page, shared with The U.S. SunCredit: Tupac Shakur/Century
Tupac grew up in extreme poverty, according to the book’s authorCredit: Tupac Shakur/Century
“I think this was extremely important to include as I wanted to show the depths of despair that Tupac faced as he was recovering from bullet wounds and facing possible prison time,” Staci Robinson, the author of Tupac Shakur The Authorized Biography, told The U.S. Sun.
“I thought it was important to show his vulnerability in this moment.
“I believe his mother pulled him back from the edge. She essentially made him understand that he was needed in a not so fair world and his presence would be lost in making change….as she knelt in front of him that day, she told him to ‘fight for the good in this world.’”
The book describes how Pac reached breaking point after he was convicted of sexually assaulting a fan in a hotel room – a crime he was adamant he did not commit – and became consumed with depressing thoughts.
Tupac was discovered by his mother, his aunt Glo and a family friend sitting on the couch holding a shotgun in one hand and a .45 millimeter in the other.
While his mother Afeni managed to talk him around, the next day he told his mom and friends that he had planned out his own suicide in great depth.
He wanted to be driven to the woods to share a last joint with some friends before being left to shoot himself.
“Tupac had planned it all out in macabre detail,” the book, which is the first biography to be approved by Tupac’s estate, reads.
“He wanted them to drive him to the woods, where he would share one last blunt ….Then they would leave him there with his shotgun.
“And when it happens,” Tupac said, “don’t let them touch my body. I don’t want them touchin’ my body. Y’all take my body.”
At the time, author Staci said, he felt his only options were to flee or turn himself in, but he feared that if he ran, his family would be put in danger from authorities.
“Don’t let them touch my body. I don’t want them touchin’ my body. Y’all take my body.”
“But if he took his own life, that would be the end of it. There would be no manhunt, no questions. It would be over,” she said.
He asked them all to pledge their support but nobody said a word.
“It was like he was directing a movie. He was not morbid at all,” his aunt Glo is quoted as saying in the book.
She added: “It was a very painful time for all of us. It was surreal. We under no circumstances agreed with my nephew, but we were trying to get through the f*****g moment.”
Later, Tupac himself spoke about the incident, saying: “I just all around felt suicidal. But I couldn’t kill myself. I just wanted somebody to kill me for me.”
Eventually, with his mother’s support, Tupac pulled himself back from the edge, and turned himself into prison authorities in New York on December 24, 1994, ahead of his sentencing.
“I think readers will be surprised about the shaping and origins of Tupac’s being…that his mother, Afeni Shakur, was essentially where he got his fiery personality, his sharp intellect and his passion for the people,” author Staci said.
“I just all around felt suicidal. But I couldn’t kill myself. I just wanted somebody to kill me for me.”
“I tried to give readers a glimpse inside her background and the years before his birth to show their similarities. I just thought it was important to make this known.
“Tupac has such a loyal following, and his fans know every little detail about his life, but some still may not have known that Afeni also was a writer and a poet, that she too, was as selfless as he was and that she was willing to put her people, her community before herself-all traits that she passed on to Tupac.”
Staci thinks fans will also be surprised to learn some of the facts behind key events in Pac’s life – such as when he was charged with shooting two off-duty police officers in self defence after he saw them allegedly harassing a black man in Atlanta. Charges were later dropped.
‘RIGHTING THE WRONGS’
“I also think they will be surprised to discover some of the details behind the headlines,” she said.
“The headlines blared ‘TUPAC SHOT TWO COPS’ but they never said why? Why did that event take place? Tupac was a person who would unabashedly try to right wrongs…and I wanted to include as many stories to illustrate this part of his persona as I could find.
“Another part of Tupac’s personality that some may be surprised to read about was his deep love for the arts. Readers will learn about things like Tupac’s fascination with Vincent Van Gogh and the story behind how he discovered the visual artist and his work. Additionally, they will read about his love for the musical Les Miserables….and his natural ability to recite Shakespeare.”
One of the most heartbreaking aspects of Tupac’s life, Staci says, was his mother’s struggles with crack cocaine addiction.
Afeni was an activist and paralegal before descending into addiction in the 80s.
“His mother’s addiction was definitely one of the most heartbreaking and distressing parts of his life,” Staci told The U.S Sun.
“He was distraught when he learned what was going on and felt helpless in that moment.
“During the time he was living back and forth between Santa Rosa and Marin City [California], he called his Aunt Glo and asked her to help, a phone call that was probably extremely hard for him to make, but a phone call that, in the end, saved his mother and allowed her to reset and overcome her addiction.”
The book also details the immense poverty Tupac grew up with – owning only one pair of pants and often going hungry.
“I wanted to highlight the struggles with poverty that Tupac endured because as Afeni did, Tupac chose activism amidst a life of struggle,” Staci said.
“He essentially was part of the community that he was trying to make change in. Their family didn’t know where the next meal would come from sometimes, but still Afeni was worried about the children in their community not having food to eat or going to school and having to learn on an empty stomach.
“Even though Tupac grew up poor, he anticipated a future of fame and fortune with confidence. He knew he’d be famous one day.”
Staci Robinson, Author
“He had one pair of pants and had to borrow clothes from friends. In an interview when he was a teenager, he expressed how much he hated being poor… I think he hated it so much, it became one of the main drivers that fueled his activism.
“Even though Tupac grew up poor, he anticipated a future of fame and fortune with confidence. He knew he’d be famous one day. I think he anticipated fame more than money and prepared for that….. but no one can really prepare for what life will be like when you go from having so little to making millions.
“Going from nothing to an abundance will always bring challenges. Tupac focused on one thing once he “made it” financially….and that was to take care of his family.”
Tupac served over 10 months of his sentence before being bailed out by Death Row Records boss Suge Knight in October 1995, awaiting an appeal. He maintained his innocence over the crime until his death.
Less than a year later, Tupac’s life was cut tragically short when he was shot in a hit and run on Sept 7, 1996, in Las Vegas, and died in hospital a few days later.
His murder case remained unsolved until earlier this year, when detectives in Las Vegas arrested self-confessed gangster Duane “Keefe D” Davies on murder charges. He is currently awaiting trial after pleading not guilty.
Tupac Shakur: The Authorized Biography is out now on Amazon.
Pac with Suge Knight on the night he was shotCredit: Tupac Shakur/Century
Another page of Tupac’s personal writingsCredit: Tupac Shakur/Century